Friday, June 22, 2018

Papa's Garden

Thank you for all of your lovely messages regarding the loss of my father. Your words were comforting, and I truly appreciate all your hugs and prayers. 

We've been getting through, one day at a time, as you do, I guess. 

For me, I feel closest to my Dad when I'm out in the garden. I remember him always spending spring and summer weekends in the garden, and I learned so much from him.

When I started the garden around the garden cottage a few weeks back, I knew in my heart that some day it would be a memorial garden for my Dad. 


I just didn't realize it would be quite this soon.

Through the years I called my Dad various things....first it was Daddy, then Dad, then Pops, and even for a small time Popsicle....but once my daughter was born, he was forever known as Papa. She was the first grand-baby, and from that day forward he was always Papa.

So, in my head, this was always going to be 'Papa's Garden.' 

And so it is. 


I finished the last remaining stretch under the window the day before his wake, and I had my daughters help so that they, too, could feel connected to him in this quiet corner of our world. 

Yesterday, Sweetie and I added the final touches, and I am so pleased with the way it turned out. 


I ordered a few items from The Lakeside Collection to put in Papa's Garden. 

This Heart Garden Sculpture reminds me of when I was small....my tiny heart inside Papa's big heart. A reminder of him holding me in his arms as a little girl. 


In the main part of the garden I tucked this sweet Angel Garden Trellis.  She adds just the peaceful touch I needed, and really makes the garden feel like a memorial garden. 


She's watching over us all, just like Papa watched over us for many years. 

Sweetie picked the perfect spot for her, nestled right next to the Hydrangea Tree that Mom and Dad got me for my birthday this year. 

I walk up the ramp and touch the leaves of the tree and ask Papa how he's doing today. 

We all find our connection to those we've lost in our own ways. This is mine. 


The final and most touching thing that we added to Papa's Garden was a sign that Sweetie had custom made. 

He gift wrapped it and handed it to me along with a tissue yesterday when he came over for dinner. 

When I opened it I started bawling, of course. Sweetie knew that was going to happen!


It couldn't be more perfect, what a wonderful tribute to my dad. He loved fishing, and nature, and living in the mountains, and I know he would absolutely love this sign. 

It's the perfect touch to finish off Papa's Garden and my Sweetie was so incredibly thoughtful to order this for me.

There's a reason I call him Sweetie, you know...he really is the biggest marshmallow, although he only lets certain people see that side of him. I call him my marshmallow with eyebrows. He's such a little lovebug, and so very good to me. I am truly blessed.


I'm so pleased with how the garden looks and feels now. It's in a lovely quiet corner, far from the road, next to the horse paddock. All we hear is the sound of birdsong, and the rustle of the leaves.

I added a string of solar twinkle lights that stretch from the corner of the roof to the tree behind the swing, and then across a few other trees in the woods.

When I sit in the swing in the evenings, the lights surround me and I feel as if I'm getting a hug from the stars. 

There's an Eskimo legend that says 'perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but openings where your loved ones shine down to let you know they are happy.'

I'd like to believe that. 


When I open my bedroom drapes in the mornings, Papa's Garden is the first thing I see. 

It's a nice way to start the day. I say "Good Morning, Papa" and I feel him in my heart. 

While we were working on Papa's Garden there was a yellow butterfly flitting all around us. My daughter said, "Hey maybe that's Papa!"

That gave me peace, to think of him happy and free, flitting about my garden letting us know he's near. 

At his wake, I told this to one of his friends. Right after the graveside service, she came looking for me when I was talking to some family members to let me know a yellow butterfly had just landed on the coffin. 

There has been a yellow butterfly flitting around me every day when I'm out in the garden.


This morning it was the first thing I saw when I stepped out the door to feed the birds. 

It stayed on the flowers long enough for me to run back in for my camera. 

Good morning, Papa. 


It must be nice to visit us as a butterfly...such a beautiful creature, so gentle and always welcome in the garden.  


Mom and I spent some time on this swing this past weekend, visiting with Papa on Father's Day. She loved the garden I had created for him. We had a cocktail on the swing together, toasting "Cheers, Papa."

When I opened the sign from Sweetie, I had to send a photo to Mom straight away so she could see how perfect it was. 

She sent back a message, 'Very nice, Papa would love it. A great addition to Papa's Garden.' 

I couldn't agree more. 

We all have to find our peace in our own ways. This is my way. My sisters and my Mom have their own way, as do all the grandkids. 

We lost a wonderful man, someone we loved dearly. I like to think he's in a better place, and he's at peace. 

Perhaps happily flitting about as a yellow butterfly. 

Or shining down like a star. 

Or perhaps shining in as a sunbeam warming the wood on my dining room table.


I miss you Papa....but I know you're all around me. 

And you'll always and forever be in my heart.

58 comments:

  1. Ok, I'm grabbing tissue now. How thoughtful your sweetie was and what a great tribute to Papa. I love Papa's Garden. Its perfect and I know it must bring some peace and joy to you and your mom.
    Lisa

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    1. It really does, Lisa. I spend evenings on the swing, chatting with my Dad, telling him about my day.

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  2. What a pleasant read. Sadness filled but pleasant and what a beautiful tribute to your dad. May more sunbeams and yellow butterflies surround you and the peace that they bring encompass you in the future weeks.

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    1. Thank you, Carol - there was a yellow butterfly flitting around while I was watering the patio plants this morning - I said, Good Morning, Papa!

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  3. What a beautiful tribute, Debbie! May Papa's Garden continue to bring you peace and a place to remember your dad in the future. It's been almost 10 years since I lost my dad and I keep crying when I read your posts. Your words and love are a reflection of what a wonderful man your father was. xoxo

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    1. Awww, thank you Courtney - I'm sorry I made you cry, you lost your dad very young, that's so sad. xo

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  4. Such a special and loving tribute to your dad.

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  5. It is a beautiful place that you all made around the shed and the sign is just perfect. My Mother also loved to garden and I get alot of peace working in mine knowing she loved it.

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    1. It's wonderful to have a spot where we feel connected to those we've lost, Betty

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  6. Although born out of loss and sadness, this is my most favorite post of yours ever. It's so very beautiful, thank you for sharing this. The garden is beautiful too. I just love how you've planted it. It looks so peaceful and I hope many many yellow butterflies visit in the future!

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    1. Awww, thank you so much - these posts were tough to write, but came straight from the heart.

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  7. you've created a lovely tribute, memorial, remembrance of your dear father. And that man of yours, he's a keeper, so very thoughtful.

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    1. He's a sweet, thoughtful man and I feel very blessed to have him in my life, Karen Ann.

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  8. A lovely tribute to your Papa. We feel the same way about butterflies here.

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    1. I've never seen so many yellow butterflies in my garden any other year, Penny!

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  9. Oh gosh.... I'm so sorry to hear you lost your Papa. Hard times emotionally. My wish is that his garden brings you much happiness during this time of healing as well as in the days ahead. Take care.... xox

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    1. Thank you - the garden has really helped with my healing, without doubt.

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  10. That is a wonderful garden and so nice of "sweetie" to get that sign for you. Nancy

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    1. It was so thoughtful, Nancy, he really touched my heart with that sign.

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  11. I know you will be healing for a very long time, but you have a special place now to sit with your thoughts and memories of your dear papa. It's a sweet little garden, you did a fantastic job!

    Sending love and wishing you peace.

    Jane x

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    1. Thank you, Jane - I pull the bedroom drapes open in the mornings and the first thing I see is Papa's Garden - it makes me smile and I'm so glad I created such a peaceful spot to remember him.

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  12. Such beautiful words and lovely garden. I absolutely love the Eskimo legend. I still haven't figured out how to put my memories of Abi in my garden. I'm just not ready yet I guess. I know it will give me a sense of peace when I do though. I'm still so very sad.
    Brenda

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    1. I know you will find a way, Brenda. You have the red hibiscus - that's a good start.

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  13. What a lovely tribute of love this garden is. Love the sign from your sweetie. I loved it that he handed it to you along with a tissue. :-)

    You are blessed to have him.

    Have a wonderful summer ~ FlowerLady

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    1. I'm sure you see memories of your husband everywhere in your gardens as well, Lorraine - you worked so hard on them together for so many years.

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  14. Wonderful. Papa must be so proud of you. Blessings and lots of virtual hugs.

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    1. Thank you, Lesley - I'm so blessed to have so many wonderful blog friends sending me love and support.

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  15. Your garden is lovely and a perfect tribute to your Dad. I love it! The sign is so special, like your Sweetie!

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    1. I wonder how Dad would feel about all the pink in his garden....perhaps next season I'll incorporate more blue into the mix!

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  16. What a beautiful way to remember your Papa and feel him close to you always. I also love that he is sending you reminders that he will always be with you in the form of the yellow butterfly. Your Sweetie sounds like a very wonderful man with a heart of gold also. My love is with you as you continue through the grieving process.

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    1. Awww thank you Debbie - I do feel so close to him when I'm in that corner. I sat out there the other evening for ages after his twinkle lights came on and had a good long chat with him!

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  17. Debbie, I am smiling now, after I had a cry. Your tribute to your father with this garden is perfect. I love the sign, the angel , and the fact that butterflies do come around to cheer us. Blessings to you honey. xoxo, Susie

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    1. I've added a small plaque since, Susie - it was ordered at the same time as the other items but was delayed. I'll share it some day...but for now it just brings me peace.

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  18. This is so beautiful, Debbie - and so is the garden. I love that sign your sweetie made! My dad was called Papa right after my son, Philip was born. Philip was the first grandchild and was the light of my dad's eyes. Sadly, I've lost both of them. And way too soon - my dad at age 63 almost 20 years ago and Phil at age 21 almost 9 years ago. I agree with you that we grieve in our own ways...and that we also find comfort in our own ways, too. There is never any right or wrong in grieving. Your dad would love your garden and that you see it first thing in the morning. Sending you much love and a big hug.

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    1. You lost them both way too young, Melanie - I believe they are together now, each looking out for the other and watching over you and Brian.

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  19. What a beautifully written post. The garden is beautiful and has such a sense of peace to it.I was raised in foster homes so I never really had parents but reading this made me feel like I had one,thank you. So very sorry for your loss.

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    1. I'm sorry you were raised in foster homes, I certainly hope your foster parents were kind souls and treated you well. I was blessed to have my Dad this long, and to still have my mom.

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  20. What a lovely way to memorialize your dad, Debbie. I just know you will spend lots of peaceful hours there, "hanging" with your pop...thinking about the great times and all the love he left you with...Hugs to you my friend. xo

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    1. It gives me joy to tend to his garden, Kim - it makes me feel as if I'm taking care of him...bringing him comfort.

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  21. OH I just love this! It turned out beautiful. I hope it gives you so much comfort in all the years to come Debbie <3

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    1. Thanks, Ellen - my sisters haven't seen it yet, I wonder will they find the peace I do in this corner when they visit.

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  22. Debbie, I love your memorial garden in your Papa's honor.

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    1. Thank you, Rita - my Papa was a great man, he deserves so much more, but this is what I can do for him.

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  23. Oh, Debbie! I am just now seeing this, and I am so sorry for your loss. Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of my husband‘s passing, so I laid low that entire day, and today will be with my dad to celebrate his birthday. I’ll tell you what, it has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. Your garden is lovely, and your feelings so pure and genuine. This was a wonderful post. It made me all misty.

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    1. Oh Pattie, I'm sorry - I remember reading your post when your husband passed away, and feeling the tears stream down my face for a man I had never met. I can't believe it's two years already, I hope you are finding some peace of your own out on your patio with your container garden.

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  24. A lovely memory garden. Sorry you lost your Dad. My Dad died in 2001. I miss him.. Like you and your Dad, I was always out in nature with Daddy. Enjoy reading your precious memories about your Father.

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    1. Thank you, Betsy - I'll always have my memories, at least there's that small comfort.

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  25. OH I am so sorry to hear about your dear Papa ::(

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    1. Thank you, Deb - it will be a month on the 4th of July, I can't believe it.

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  26. How lucky you are that God blessed you with one of your father’s genetic traits, his green thumb. Your garden is a beautiful memorial to the wonderful memories of your Loving Papa.

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    1. Thank you - both my parents have green thumbs, I guess I was destined to be a gardener!

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  27. What a lovely tribute to your dad, Debbie! The garden is a wonderful way to honor your father's memory and a place you can remember him fondly! xoxo

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    1. I remember showing him pictures of the tree after I planted it, Linda - he was in the hospital, it was his final hospital stay. I didn't tell him it was to be his garden...but he was happy to see the tree they had gotten me for my birthday, and loved the spot I selected for it.

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  28. Debbie, This is a wonderful tribute to your father!

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    1. Thank you, Carol - it was a sad post to write, for sure.

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  29. What a beautiful post Debbie. I just love how your "Papa" garden has turned out. What a terrific tribute to your Dad. I love the idea of a butterfly hanging around. I have a soft spot for these.
    Such a sweet gift from your honey. I love the new sign.
    One day at a time is a good way to deal with loss. This has been my experience anyway.
    Take care
    Jeannette

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    1. I have good days and bad days, Jeannette, as is to be expected. But the garden always brings me comfort.

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